The Fourth Week!

Well, I have officially been on the program for a month!  I still feel great (Except this stupid summer cold that is kicking my butt) and I had a fairly successful weigh in this week!  I am now down to 288 lbs!  That means, I lost 6 pounds this week and a total weight loss for one month of 26 pounds!  Yep that's right!  26 pounds in one month!  What awesome results!  I can say that in the past having tried a few different things, like diet and excersize, I have never really seen results, or at least not like this!  And I think that is one of the biggest challenges with weightloss, is when you don't see results quickly, you get discouraged easily and fall back into your old habits.  I love Take Shape for Life, because I have had amazing results, I rarely feel hungry (I do have some days where I will get the munchies, but those are usually days when I am stuck sitting instead of being able to do stuff) I feel healthy, I feel happy, and I feel full of life!  I hope that I can pay this feeling forward and help others in the future, change their lives and their situations.  I hope I can be an inspiration, like my own health coach has been for me!  I've never come across something that feels so right and so life changing, and so perfect.  I feel like meeting my health coach, was almost like fate!  Let me explain this.  When I was pregnant with Andrew (Who is now three months old) I was HUGE.  I had peaked at 370 lbs.  Yeah, I was pregnant, but I was THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS!  I could hardly walk, I couldn't reach my feet, I had to have help to put socks on, I wouldn't wear any shoes that laced up, only slip on's, and I felt horrible.  And the thing was even though I was pregnant, it wasn't all pregnancy.  But, it was a blessing in it's own way being that miserable, because, it really gave me a glimpse into what I would feel like, permanently, if I let myself get any bigger.  I was already at the 340 mark before I got pregnant, so I wasn't far off.  It scared the Hell out of me to feel that way.  I can't even begin to describe how scary it was to be that immobile and that depressed, because I wasn't able to do anything.  So I knew after Andrew was born, I had to do something.  Before I met Jenn (My health coach) I was really trying to keep healthy foods in my home, and fix healthy meals.  But, having a new born and a two year old, it was hard to always make something healthy to eat for every single meal.  Plus, in a lot of ways, I didn't have a really clear grasp on nutrition.  Even now I am still learning every day about healthy foods and how they affect your body, and other foods and how they affect your body.  I am learning about excersize, and eating enough that your body doesn't go into starvation mode, but not eating so much that you are just packing on the pounds, and most importantly, eating the nutrients you need, and not just counting the calories.  It's all a lot to take in, BUT, this program makes it simple to learn.  And they make it easy to see results.  Anywho, I have gone off on a tangent.  So about 6 weeks 8 weeks after Andrew was born I met Jenn.  This amazing, wonderful person, who came into my life, and showed me that she used to be just as big as I am, and I see her now, four years later, and I am still amazed and in Awe at how wonderful she looks.  And then I think, I am going to look like that too!  I am just so excited about what my futures holds. I hope everyone will keep following me on this journey, the support and love has been amazing!  I can't wait to show everyone pictures of how amazing I can look when I reach my goal weight.  For now, I have attached my one month picture for everyone to look at!  I look goofy, I know, but, I can see progress!  I hope you can too!

Feeling Good!

I wanted to post today because I am feeling so so good and there are some things that I want to share that I think, most people might not even realize are significant in my journey.  I am excited because I feel healthy.  I don't remember ever feeling this healthy.  One major change that I have noticed that is amazing, is before I started this program, I would get upset stomachs almost daily.  I would have bowel issues just about as often.  I know this isn't something most people want to hear about, but this is one of the most important changes I have noticed in my body and feeling healthier.  I have not had an upset stomach, or diarreah since I started take shape for life.  I cannot express to you how amazing this feels.  I guess you maybe don't realize how miserable you are until you aren't anymore.
There have been other significant things that have changed in my life that are amazing also.  For example, I can easily put socks on my feet now.  Sounds silly but before, I couldn't lift my foot up on my leg to get socks on and bending over to do it was almost as much of a pain.  Now I can fairly easily lift my foot onto my leg.  I can also sit in the chair, on the couch, on the floor, where ever, in an indian style leg cross.  Or like Meditation leg cross.  Again, this might seem silly and insignificant to most people, but to be able to move my body like this again is so wonderful.  I can sleep in my bed with little pain, I can bend, squat, MOVE do just about anything without pain (or to much pain, sometimes standing in one place doing something for an extended period hurts my back quite a bit.)  It's an amazing feeling, and It is even more amazing to know that as I get thinner, I will be even more flexible, and in less pain.  I can't wait to do some sports.  You can bet that Next spring I am going to be looking into softball!  I haven't played in years, but I am so anxious to put myself out there and play again.  I was good!  I was actually good at a lot of sports I attempted in highschool and middle school gym classes, but I've always been the fat kid, and between getting made fun of, and kids yelling "Earthquake" as I ran across the floor, and being easily winded and worn out, I never pushed myself in any of these activities.  But now, Thats going to change.  I want to play tennis!  I want to be on a bowling league again and go to nationals again.  I want to coach my children in sports, or at least be there for them.  I want to do all this stuff, and for the first time in my life, I feel confident that I can do all of this.  And not only that I can do this, but that I WILL do this.  It's what I want, and dammit, I am going to do it!
Some other amazing things that have happen in the last couple weeks.  This morning I was in my shower, shaving my legs, and I was amazed that NOTHING hurt when I did this.  I took my time, and still nothing hurt!  I even proceeded to scrub all the dried dead skin off my now cute little feet, that I couldn't reach at 320 lbs, because I could reach them so easily and painlessly today!  I bought a couple pairs of pants yesterday that FIT, which also makes me feel amazing.  Wearing my old clothes is hard because then I just feel frumpy, but having a couple things that fit, is  amazing.  I don't smother my husband anymore when we are being intimate, and I feel sexy!  Everything is falling into place and I couldn't be happier.  My control issues that I have had for a long time are even getting better!  I believe this is because for so long I have felt so out of control over myself, that I have felt I need to control everything else around me.  And not always rationally.  But now that I have control of my health, things are just better!  Everybody is happier in my house, but especially this momma!  All of this, and I am only down just over 20 lbs!  I gotta tell ya, my future is going to be amazing!!!!  Stay tuned Friday for my one month picture and to see how much I've lost this week.  And as always, thanks for reading my blog!

Made it for week three!

Well, week three has had it's own challenges.  But, I made it through week three still going strong on the Take Shape For Life program.  I am actually loving this program more and more each week I am on it.  It is amazing how good I feel.  How much Healthier I feel, in just three weeks.  How much happier I am.  How much more I love my kids, and my husband, and most importantly, how much more I am loving myself.
This week I acheived another goal!  I have officially lost 20 pounds since I started the program.  I'm not going to lie, I was a little disappointed I only lost 3 pounds this week, but I do feel there were things this week that led to the lower number.  For one, I have been dealing with a lot of stress at work.  I've always heard that stress can affect weightloss.  I don't know of the accuracy of this, but plan on doing some research about it tonight.  Secondly, I have had to deal with my "friendly" monthly visitor this week, and I know that a lot of women gain a pound or two during this friendly visit.  (Which by the way, I did NOT miss during my pregnancy........) But I feel like the two combined may be why I only lost three pounds.  Or I could just be slowing down on the weightloss a bit, either way, it is what it is.  I am very happy that I am losing weight and not gaining it, however!  A loss is a loss, even if it is just a small one.  It's progress!  I just have to keep reminding myself of that, and not get discouraged!
With all that being said, I do want to talk a little bit about an issue I have found myself coming across, that is causing part of the stress I mentioned before.  For those who don't know, I work in a kitchen.  I'm a pastry chef, and a cook.  I am good at what I do, and most of the time I enjoy it.  Starting this program has created a unique challenge when it comes to working in a kitchen, and my boss has laid out the cards and now I have to figure out how to play the hand.  When you work in a kitchen, you taste your product, to make sure it is what you want, or has the flavor it needs, etc.  Being on this program, and being so incredibly concious of what is going in my body, and only allowing certain things (lean meats, healthy vegetables, and the 5 meal replacements) has made tasting product a challenge.  Even a few extra carbs a day, could kick my system out of what is called "fat burn" and slow down or even halt all the progress I have made thus far.  But, my boss made it very clear that he will not have a cook in the kitchen who does not taste their product.... I understand it, and Up until now, I have relied on others to taste things for me.  But now I am feel I am at a point where, as extreme as it may sound, I must chose between my job and my health.  I am still pondering all this, and am pretty sure I have come up with a fairly clear decision, but I still need to take time to really think about all of it, and figure out all my options.  I am not going to quit this program, and I am not going to compromise my health any longer.  I can't.  My husband, and my beautiful children need me.  Or, I need them.  Either way, I want to ensure a long healthy life with my family.  A part time job isn't a reason for me to stop persuing my goals, and become a healthy and, dare I say it, Thin, person.  I just hope that a little luck is on my side, and we as a family can make all ends meet.  We always have, and I am confident that from now on, things are only going to be brighter and better for our futures!

Week two success!

Well week two has been a challenge. But I have succeeded at the challenge! There has been a lot of stress and a lot of nearly sleepless nights, and hunger pangs have been giving me a run for my money, BUT, I survived the week! And with progress to show for it! When I started my journey two weeks ago, I wore a size 28 pant, and 24/26 shirt. I decided to try on clothes this week (specifically pants) and I thought since everything I own is starting to fall off me, I'd be down to a 26. Well I tried on some size 26 shorts and found even those were loose, so I thought, It is probably doubtful I could fit into a 24 just yet, but I'll try them anyway.  Well sure enough they fit! I dropped two sizes in under two weeks! How crazy is that!
Now for the weigh in news. I woke up this morning, emptied my bladder (I didn't want all that pee adding to my weight haha,) and stepped on the scale. And it read 297! Yes! 297! So not only have I lost a total of 17 pounds in the last two weeks, I am under the 300 pound mark, which I haven't been in several years! I still almost can't believe it. When I was my heaviest (not including my pregnancy with Andrew) I was close to 340. I was miserable. I was miserable because when I had hit 280 I had told myself, I am never going to get to three hundred. When I hit 300 I told myself I'd make damn sure I never got 320 and then there I was, way over 320 at a weight I swore to myself I'd never reach. I had let myself down, and I felt disgusting that I was letting myself get that way. It affected my life with my kids, it affected my work, it affected my mood, and it affected my sex life. But now! Now I am again under 300! I feel happy, I feel energetic, I feel like I can love my children even more and be a way better mother, and I feel like I can be a better wife both inside and outside the bedroom.
I know I keep mentioning my sex life in posts, but I think it is one of the more important differences I am noticing in my journey, and I feel like I need to share that part along with everything else I experience. I started this blog because I want to always remember how I feel, but also because I want others to know how I have felt and how I feel. I want people to know that no matter what their struggle, you can always overcome with determination, persistence, and self discipline. I hope that anyone who follows me on my journey might find a small spark of inspiration, and can start or finish whatever special journey they might be on in life.

Challenges

Well, it's been a few days since I last posted. The last few days have been HARD! I thought it'd be easier but so far this week has been much more of a challenge in wanting to cook more and eat more. Not even eat more but eat different. I know that's weird. I wish I had three lean protein and veg meals, but I have new hot entrees coming in soon to try. I'm still determined. It's hard going to the grocery store and wanting to get all this stuff to cook, and again not even unhealthy stuff, I'm loving my veggies and proteins, I just wish I could have more of it. It's a struggle, but I am confident that as I get further into the program, I'll become more accustomed to the way the weight loss portion of the program works. My energy has been a little less the last few days but I believe this has more to do with lack of sleep than anything else. I feel healthy! I am already noticing differences in the way my body functions. Good changes! More flexibility, less aches and pains. And for anyone who cares, mine and my husbands "quality" time is even improving! *wink wink* it's amazing to be able to explore your own body in ways that weren't possible before, and it's only going to get better! I'm excited for the journey ahead. My fear is dissipating, and my confidence is building. I can't wait to see where I am in a year!

First week

Well today was an ok day. Work was great, my weigh in for my first week was disappointing. I stepped on the scale and I was half a pound heavier than when I weighed on day four. HOWEVER! I have still lost approximately 8 pounds my first week so I am super happy about that. I can't be upset with a loss. But stepping on the scale today, and seeing 307.0 instead of 306.8 was disappointing. I am now kind of regretting weighing myself on day four, haha. That's what I get for having no patience whatsoever!
I am finding out some interesting things about the way the body works and why this program is successful. And it's more and more intriguing the more I find out. For example, when you start this program you are actually discouraged from doing exercise for the first three weeks. Crazy right! Especially once you start to experience all this new found energy and you feel like you should go out and run a marathon! Well the reason you are not supposed to exercise at first, and only light activity after is because you're only consuming 800-1000 calories and if you are burning up those calories, by hardcore exercise, your body will go into starvation mode and STORE fat, instead of burn it! How crazy is that! I love finding these things out about how my body works, and it could explain the slight standstill in my own weightless over the last few days, as I did start taking my son out for short walks. Now whether that's the reason or not, I dunno, but it's the reason I'm using, because I've been following this change in diet like the freakin' bible, so I'm fairly confident it is not the food part. Who knew exercise could prevent you from losing weight!
So, that is where I am at today. I have decided I don't really need to post every single day, so I will post when I have a significant day (good or bad) and with my weekly weigh in's.  And I'll try to have a new picture each month,  to show progress! Thanks for all your love and support!

A new day

Well today has been pretty good! Another day sticking to the plan. I haven't felt overly hungry today. I've had lots of energy and I was able to have some fun outside activities with my family! It's amazing how literally a week ago, I would've just sent my husband and son to the pool while I stayed home and watched tv. Today I WANTED to go! We also went for a walk, which again, just a week ago if my husband had asked me to go for a walk, I would've made up some excuse not to, so I could stay inside and sit on my butt and snack on crap, and watch tv. I know I said it yesterday, but I am blown away by how energetic I feel. And beyond that, I feel happy. Like happy like I haven't felt in quite sometime. I know it's still early in the process, but feeling this good and having an improved mood is going to be a lot better for everyone in my family. I'm not quite so anal and controlling when I'm happy, I have noticed. So yes, with all this progress comes a new found happiness. I hope that this mood and energy are side affects the rest of my life. I already don't want to go back to the "old" me, even though the old me is not far gone. Here's to a new life!

Checking in

Today's post is probably going to be fairly short. It has been a fairly uneventful day. But with it being so much of just a "normal" day I have felt hungrier than ever it seems. My mood I'd greet and my energy is great especially for only getting five hours of sleep, but I feel so hungry today. But I'm dealing with it ok. I try to do things to keep myself busy, do I don't just sit here and think about food, but as I said before, when you have a baby that just wants to sleep in your arms all day, or sit in your arms and not be put down, it makes it hard to not sit there and think about food, since before, I'd go to the fridge and find some kind of unhealthy snack and much away. Sometimes I'd just have a huge and unhealthy meal, in the middle of the day, because I was bored and "hungry." It has been a bigger struggle today to not just fall into that habit.  I remember when I write smoking 8 years ago it was the same thing. The hardest part wasn't what the people around me were doing so much as the habits I had developed on a daily basis when I was bored, or on the computer, or driving my car. The distance this time is, being an ex smoker and going through that mental anguish once, assures me I am more than capable of doing it again. And honestly, the energy I have gained is great and makes me want to never feel exhausted and not wanting to do anything but sit on my butt, ever again. I am blown away by how alert, awake, and energetic I feel! Anyway, having a wonderful Saks if mustard greens and collard greens, cucumber, and celery, as well as shrimp and olives for dinner. The one lean and green meal I get a day is always so delicious, and makes me wonder why I haven't eaten like this always! Thank you to everyone who had sent me live and support so far in my journey, and a huge huge thank you to my health coach, Jenn, who not only introduced me to the program, but had been the most supportive of all! Love you all!

Great day!

Well it's day four. I waited until this afternoon to post because I wanted to make sure my mood was pretty much the same throughout the day. I started out the morning great. Had breakfast with Jack and my parents, and everyone was in a great mood! This good mood has lasted throughout the day which has been great! I definitely feel more energetic, and my biggest frustration today has been not being able to do much because of the baby. Tonight I'm having a wonderful dinner of grilled chicken and roasted veggies. I am finding myself enjoying the flavor of both meats and veggies more since I've started this, and today, I haven't craved carbs at all. It's amazing the difference I feel just from last night. With all that being said, and feeling as good as I have, I decided to not wait the full week to weigh in. I feel so good I wanted to know! Is this process working? And maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking, "wow I'm having such a great day, and I'm feeling so good, maybe I need to bring myself down." Sadly this self destructive nature has been a large part of my life and it is something I'm working on overcoming. But wouldn't you know, the scale decided to keep my spirits up! I was expecting a pound or two, I mean afterall it has only been four days, but I stepped on that scale and waited for it to stop, and it stopped on 306! Four days and I've lost 8 pounds! I almost started crying seeing that number! And this small little victory gives me even more hope and confidence that I am on the right path, and even more determination to get where I want to be. Now I just need to ride out this journey. But today! Today has been a great day!

The restaurant

I wasn't intending to post twice today, but I feel like I need to talk about the restaurant challenge while it's still fresh. All I can say is, it sucked! We went to a great restaurant with delicious food, hearty portions, rich sauces, home made bread and rolls, loaded bakers, and creamy mashed potatoes! Yeah, it sucked not indulging in those things until my stomach felt ready to explode. I wanted to cry, several times throughout the meal. I felt ridiculous for being "one of those people" when I ordered my food. I felt like I was insulting my family, for not having a delicious hearty meal with them, and Unless you've been there, you can't even imagine how much it sucked. BUT I got through it! I had a nice piece of roughy, hold the pesto, and a green salad (that sadly I only got to eat a tiny bit of since I forgot to mention no croutons and crumbs were covering nearly every leaf) and you know what, I got through it. Such a small thing you would think, but such a huge accomplishment. And I did that. I made that choice, that while everyone else at the table was indulging in delicious smelling food, I made the choice to stay on this path for my health. Eventually I'll be able to sit down, and with keen knowledge, eat smart at a restaurant like this one. But for today, I win!

Day three

Today I am feeling pretty good, although hungrier than I have the last couple days. I will be quite happy when the hunger passes, and I'm not constantly thinking about all the delicious foods I'm missing out on. I'll be honest, I have to remind myself that eventually I will be able to eat home cooked meals again, but I need this part of the process to get me to where I need to be, and to alter my mind and body so I don't over eat. I know I've talked a lot about the food, it is a big big part of the program, but after a couple weeks of letting my body adjust to less caloric intake I'll be starting an exercise routine also. It is important in its own right. I can already feel myself gaining more energy and I'm looking forward to feeling like I want to go do stuff not I have to go do stuff.
Tonight will be my first major challenge. My dad is in town and we are going out to a restaurant. I just have to find food within what is good for me and my changes and not give into temptation. I'm actually quite confident I will be able to eat fine there, I've had to deal with the presence of food that's "off the list" everyday since I've started this. I'm more concerned I won't be able to find something to eat. But anyway, I am looking forward to next Thursday and my first "weigh in." I'm starting out at 314. My ultimate goal is 170, but honestly, if I could just get under 200 I'd be pretty ecstatic! Can't wait until I'm there!